Rare Praise: The Dark Knight

WARNING: If you’re one of the six people left in the world that hasn’t seen The Dark Knight yet, there may be spoilers below. If, like me, you’ve already seen it three times, then read on.

I hate hype. Rarely, if ever, does a big summer movie live up to the hype that inescapably accompanies it. The recent Indiana Jones and Star Wars poop-farms come to mind, although as far as I’m concerned, those franchises are still only trilogies. Let’s just pretend those other four “films” never happened, shall we? Oh, sorry; five “films”—someone keeps letting George Lucas make Star Wars movies, only now they’re fully computer-animated instead of being only 95% computer-animated. Don’t you have enough goddamned money yet, George? FUCK!

But I digress. I’m not here to chastise Hollywood for butt-fucking yet another good idea to death. I’m actually here to praise them for somehow managing to churn out what is arguably the best piece of summer entertainment I’ve ever seen. The Dark Knight’s hype was grandiose, yet the movie itself still managed to deliver more than any ad campaign could have ever promised. Try swallowing this: from the same studio that brought you Batman and Robin comes yet another comic book sequel…but with a dark and complex story, featuring stand-out performances by an all-star cast, one of whom posthumously gives us one of the best villains in movie history. Sounds like total bullshit, right? Nay, good readers. It be the gospel.

Now I’m not saying this film is flawless. Even after three viewings, I still can’t figure out why Batman doesn’t just send Gordon to save Dent and rescue his beloved damsel in distress himself (aside from the fact that blowing up your love interest is fucking NAILS, Brothers Nolan!) And I just can’t shake how forced Heath Ledger’s laugh seems to me throughout the film. (In the dead man’s defense, that shit ain’t easy to pull off, and it’s the only chink in an otherwise masterful performance.) AND, in a movie filled with Batmen and Jokers and Eric Roberts of all people, my disbelief only became unsuspended when not one of those ferryboat passengers was able to blow his condemned counterparts straight to hell. (But perhaps that’s more telling of my own lack of faith in mankind than any glaring misstep by the filmmakers.)

Which brings me to the point of this little column, dear readers: the fact that a Batman movie can make me question such things as my faith in mankind is nothing short of extraordinary. The mere notion that an escapist popcorn fantasy could elicit such thought and emotion from even one its viewers is simply astounding. If for no other reason than that, this movie has raised the bar for me. Not just for action movies or comic book movies, but for movies in general. The Dark Knight showed me that movies don’t have to be just 90 minutes worth of mindless, useless drivel aimed at temporarily satiating an increasingly apathetic, idiotic public. Movies can make you feel, they can make you THINK. Hell, they can inspire you to write blogs about how inspired you are to finally be inspired again by this medium that once so inspired you! In short, movies are still everything I hoped they could be.

So I add my voice to the hype for The Dark Knight. But now I’ve probably built it up too much. Maybe you should go see The Clone Wars instead. I hear George Lucas needs the money. Douchebag.

Please, God

My esteemed colleagues and I (originally there were four of us, but now it appears as if posting duties will be done by two) created this site to talk about L.A. life, the entertainment industry, movies, and last but certainly not least - sports. That last consisting mainly of Phoenix and Chicago sports. I will probably never post about Phoenix sports because although my friends have made me a Suns fan, my fellow contributors, er...contributor is much more highly qualified to do so. I'll stick to Chicago sports. And between February and September that means one thing: Cubs baseball. Which brings me to something divine. Something that thrills my soul. While I'm guessing most sports posts (and many other kinds as well) on this site will be for kvetching, bemoaning, ranting, and generally spouting vitriol, this one is for something else - praise.

The Cubs are rolling. If you're a Cubs fan, please don't shoot me. You must understand the trepidation with which I wrote that last sentence. My hand is shaking. I'm a Cubs fan, after all. We've spent the last 100 seasons waiting for the other shoe to drop. And why? Because for the last 100 seasons it has, that's why. You know the drill. The goat, the black cat, the...shitty playing. Something will inevitably happen to ruin it. We take this on ourselves, that's how pathetically superstitious we are. God! If I just hadn't gotten those vanity plates a couple years ago, their season wouldn't have tanked! If only I'd watched/not watched/gone to/not gone to that game! Damnit, why did I have to leave the room/continuing watching that play/wear socks today! I jinxed it! (I seriously did get some Cubs vanity plates a couple years ago about midseason and they went into a tailspin. The next year I got Dodgers plates instead and the same thing happened to them - I'm from Chicagoland but I now live across the street from Dodger stadium - it's a long story; we have all summer).

I'm just as guilty of this as anybody else. Why else would I actually change my license plates? But this year is different. No, no, not in the way we've been saying "this year is different" for the last 100 years. I mean in my attitude. I've decided to let go of my superstitious ways. I've realized the Cubs are gonna have to do it no matter what license plates I have on my car, dammit. That's just how it's got to be. Admittedly, this thinking falls short of completely letting go of superstition - I'm saying they'll have to do it in spite of my plates, not that my plates have nothing to do with it. Baby steps, ok? I'll get there.

I have reached a certain zen-like state about it this year. I don't know what it is. Maybe I got tired of stressing. Maybe it's just time. Maybe it's because 100 is a good, round number. But so far so good. The Cubs are causing people to say their team name and utter the phrase "high powered offense" in the same sentence! They're 7-1 at home, and have won 5 in a row. In that last home stand they've averaged over 8 runs per game. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but this feels really, really good. I've asked a beautiful girl to go to the prom with me, and she said yes! Normally the Cubs fan in me would start thinking about when she's gonna dump me. I'm not doing that this year. I deserve to go to the prom. She likes me....she likes me....she likes me....

Of course, if I post this and they get their asses handed to them in Colorado tonight, it may be a minor setback to my optimism. I may have to rethink starting a frequent blog this particular year. NO! That's the old way. We're not doing that anymore. Like Beck says in Loser, "Things are gonna change, I can feel it."

So thank you, Cubs. Thank you for playing well thus far.

Thank you Ronny Cedeno, who I badmouthed all last year and all of 2008 spring training, and asked my television screen repeatedly why in God's name you were on this team. Thank you for your RBI double yesterday and your first (of many) grand slams. And please accept my most humble apologies.

Thank you Ted Lilly who I called a choke artist up until yesterday. You're 1-3 so I'm not going to apologize yet. But you've taken a step in the right direction.

Thank you Big Z for not going 0-4 this April.

And most of all, thank you all for giving me