Tonight is Game 4 of The NBA Finals. I can’t really say I give much of a shit anymore, aside from the fact that I love to watch a good Laker-beating. What I can’t bear to watch, however, is the beating the NBA continues to dish out with this latest wrinkle in the Tim Donaghy scandal. His Holiness David Stern would like to dismiss it as the last act of a desperate man, but I don’t care if it’s the first act of Henry V. Something is definitely rotten in the state of professional basketball. (That’s right, I’m quoting both Shakespeare and Mel Brooks in a sports blog. Peach Basket, bitches.)
The debacle that was last year’s playoffs nearly put me off the NBA entirely. I even went so far as to publicly renounce the game several times, not unlike my repeated vows to move to Australia back in 2004 if Bush were to win “another” election. Needless to say, I’m still here, and I still watched the NBA this season. But now I think I may have been pushed too far.
Sure, this is a convicted felon who’s singing like a bird for a little leniency on his impending prison sentence. But don’t they lean on criminals to get them to sing? Hasn’t this been a law enforcement tactic since the advent of the good cop/bad cop routine? Why, all of a sudden, and apparently just because the Commish says so, should we not take anything he says seriously? Don’t get me wrong, I hate Donaghy’s guts. He can piss blood and crap piss the rest of his life for all I care. But since that life is already a shambles—divorced, unemployable and mere weeks away from incarceration and an ass-pounding he so richly deserves—the poor bastard really has little left to lose. Why lie now? Donaghy probably sees himself as a whistleblower (no pun intended); Stern's portraying him as the only criminal in an otherwise just league. My guess is that, as with most extremes, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
Whatever that truth may be, I’m betting that referee corruption is a league-wide problem, not just a Donaghy problem. Ol’ Timmy seems less and less like the rogue bad apple Stern wants him to be (a claim that reeked of stubbornly defiant horseshit from the start) and more and more like the stool pigeon he most likely is. At least that’s the pill I find easier to swallow right now, even though I still don’t like the taste. After all, I’ve loved/hated this game for more than 20 years; the last thing I want is to turn my back on it. Like a battered wife, I want to believe that the injustices I’ve suffered were only isolated incidents of poor judgment, not calculated patterns of abuse. But every year I just get more reasons to leave and fewer reasons to stay. So throw me a bone, NBA. I can only tell people I fell down the stairs for one more season.
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So after all that vitriol and piss and vinegar, here's what I took away from that column....
nice semi-colon in the second paragraph. The best use yet of punctuation on this here blog.
Oh, and Stern's terrified of Donaghy. Donaghy may be a piece of garbage, but he's the kind of garbage that most people wish they shredded before throwing away.
And as for the league's lack of transparency, poke around over at Bright Side of the Sun, where one of the contributors continues to e-mail the NBA as to the non-suspensions of Kendrick Perkins and Kevin Garnett for the fracas against the Hawks. Priceless.
After spending the last several hours reading countless ESPN.com stories and fan blogs—er, I mean, working, I’ve come to the conclusion that the NBA is down to two options: call ‘em all or let ‘em play.
Even if every investigation closes inconclusively and no ref is ever proven guilty of corruption, one thing will forever be certain: the NBA’s officiating sucks balls. They need to either flesh out every rule so unambiguously that there exists no room for interpretation, or just get rid of referees altogether and let these multi-millionaires play each other street-ball style.
The problem with the first scenario is that there really can’t be a gold standard for officiating because it’s such an inherently subjective job. What’s clearly a foul to one may simply be good, hard basketball to another. It’s this very disparity that becomes so frustrating come playoff time, as every announcer, particularly former players and coaches, eventually makes some allusion to the ubiquitous “playoff foul,” which invariably leads me to scream, “What the fuck is a playoff foul?!” And don’t get me started on this “bright line” bullshit. I’ll leave that to JSun.
But let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that the league was able to set a clear rule book in stone. Who could guarantee adherence to it? Refs may attempt impartiality, but we’re all biased to some degree, and the longer we hold a job, the more set we become in the ways we do it. Moreover, revenge is in our DNA. These older “company men,” to use a Donaghyism, have been taking abuse from players, coaches and fans for the last 20+ years. How ready to serve them a big slice of fuck-you pie would you be? (Still waiting to see Joey Crawford fight Tim Duncan, by the way. I’m lookin’ at you, Fox.)
I say we lose the refs, who are usually more of a hindrance than a help to the game anyway, and just play some goddamned basketball. I’ve recently gotten back into playing in a summer community center league, and after a mere two games (both losses), I already hate our officials. They’re not calling what they see, they’re calling what they assume has happened. Consistent inconsistency has been their guide, so I fully expect to see them both go pro very soon. But frankly, I’d much rather see a basketball game.
NBA = No Bitches Allowed
I'd also point out I could have written this title with three less characters and made it more appropriate: "On Ice: The NBA"
Regrettably, the league is filled with multi-million-dollar-making drama queens. I'm no longer a fan. I respect my original franchise, the Phoenix Suns, and very few others. They've at least maintained integrity in their player base and ship out the riff-raff when it becomes a known issue to the front office.
I'm heading back to embrace college ball. No salaries for players, major endorsements, etc - just playing for the love of the game and its rewards therein. Now I just need to pick a school to get behind.
Should I read too much into the fact my own basketball team that I coached called me Coach K?
Ya, I stopped watching the NBA right around the time Jordan retired. It was either right after or shortly before, I'm not positive.
But even growing up a Bulls' fan, I used to constantly think "Umm... okay, WHY is that foul called when somebody hacks at Jordan going down the lane, but if he does it to the other team it's NOT a foul?"
I think this trend of not calling fouls on the superstars and gently rigging games to ensure the big-market teams make it deep into the playoffs because, hey, NBC knows people aren't going to tune in for two smaller teams going at it. It just always smelled fishy to me. And eventually I stopped watching altogether.
This is still a source of conflict between my older brother and myself. Him and my nephew both watch a lot of NBA and I'm SO not interested in it. So the joke is always him asking "You watching the game tonight?" and me asking "What game?"
Still enjoy college hoops, but I haven't sat down to watch an NBA game in probably 10 years now...
Ha ha, a witt! You really did stop watching the NBA a long time ago. It hasn't been on NBC in 6 years.
And, Mcbean, NBA=No Bitches Allowed? Not quite sure what that has to do with either the original post or your response.
Ah yes, college basketball, where it's only for the love of the game, and not the gazillions of dollars that the programs make. You do understand that most state-run college coaches are the highest paid public employees in their respective states (behind the football coaches, of course), right? And that college players, while not getting paid per se, do get shady "internships" at businesses owned by boosters and all sorts of under the table benefits? Cases like OJ Mayo and Reggie Bush (allegedly) are not as rare as you'd think. Those two are just greater in magnitude because of the players and dollars involved.
All sports are corrupt and you should stop watching them and spending money on them. Every time you watch a sport, a kitten dies AND the baby Jesus cries for your sins. That's how bad sports are. Plant a tree or donate to the Red Cross instead. (Just kidding! Sports are a valuable part of our communities and those who profit from them put that money right back into the community. Right, Seattle SuperSonics fans?)
looks inside brain... Yup, it's pudding alright.
Random drivels is all that's left in my noggin. The thoughts were randomd snippets I threw down in particular organized sequence.
Such is life when you're working 70+ hours a week and sitting on business conference calls until 3 AM.
--McBean
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